None. I am in no way qualified to dish out advice. At all. A sample listing of things I am also not qualified to do:

• Perform general dentistry
• Swim the English Channel
• Swim any channel
• Change a television channel (without use of remote)
• Pilot an aircraft
• Judge a figure skating competition (Debatable.) SEE NOTES BELOW.
  
• Rebuild a transmission
• Represent the LBC

NOTES: Changed during 2014 Olympics, because some of them bitches was robbed.