My own Real American Hero.

Our neighbor is out with his snowblower. In the street. He’s snowblowing the street. He is clearly an overachiever. While I do not understand him, I support him 100%.

So, today we salute you, Mr. Overachiever Snowblower Guy.

Without you, we’d all be trapped in our driveways, not knowing when the giant snow plow trucks equipped with copious amounts of rock salt would free us (in 20 minutes).

Because somewhere, down the block, a hipster is mocking you, but will later respect you for clearing the road for his fixie.

Because you give us something to believe in, and that something is that crazy old dudes can clear an intersection like a motherfucker.

So crack open that bottle of brandy, Mr. Overachiever Snowblower Guy, and throw back those Old Fashioneds.

And remember, when someone says, “Did you see that car almost slide into that crazy old bastard with the snowblower?” You can say, “Get me another goddammed Old Fashioned.”