It’s been awhile, huh? (If you missed the 2.0 post, check it out here.)
Plenty of times I’ve begun an update post. Each time, I toss it. Here’s a secret for anyone who’s never had to deal with medical shenanigans of this type:
We are kinda sick of talking about it.
We pretty much just want to get through it, get life back to some semblance of normal, to feel like ourselves again. We don’t want to make a fuss. I mean, there are so many people dealing with much, much worse.
(Seriously, punch me right in the face if I ever get all too dramatic about this.)
I get to live. My kids are scared, but they’ll be ok. My husband is exhausted, but he’s hanging in there with me. My friends and family have repeatedly surrounded us with love and support, and they amaze me on a daily basis. So, I’m lucky. I’m grateful. And I just want to quietly heal this body without much fanfare or drama.
I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that a positive attitude is absolutely essential in recovery from any illness. I’ve also learned that unrealistic expectations can chip away at your positivity. If you are not honest with yourself about the changes in your body and the changes in your life in general, you can easily forget to appreciate the opportunity you have been given, opportunities that not everyone else has.
Healing from surgery and learning to cope with a life-long condition requires patience, gratitude, perspective, and a whole lot of humor. It would be easy for me to fall into pity-party mode, but what would that get me? Jack shit. That’s what.
I’m lucky. I know that. This isn’t an easy road, but most things that are worth it aren’t. I got a second chance! No one said it was going to be a fucking pool party. Some days are tougher than others. Some days I am a bit more impatient than I should be. I’m learning. I’m getting there.
Turns out, I need a second surgery. This one is to treat my tethered spinal cord. This condition, related to Chiari Malformation and Syringomyelia, causes a veritable smorgasbord (orgasboard)* of neurological symptoms. It’s progressing faster than I had hoped it would, and we need to address the issue before any more nerve damage is permanent.
So, watch for the newest upgrade, coming September 2010. It’s gonna be bananas.
*see what I did there? #bwahahahahaha #holycrapimfunny #thatsenoughsara
Oh, and because enough of you have asked, yes, I have a totally badass scar. Dig it.
And a scar like that earned me this. Holla.